REVEALED: HOW DATING APPS ARE MAKING MEN LAZY (& WHO SHOULD PAY THE BILL!)

Dating in 2025 is a whole new game, but are dating apps helping or hindering romance? Relationship expert Kezia Noble claims they’re making men “lazy” when it comes to real-life dating, leaving them reliant on swiping instead of making meaningful connections.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, Kezia, a dating coach for men, has shared her insights with Suit Direct into common mistakes men make on first dates, the appeal of ‘alpha energy,’ and whether men should still pick up the bill.

The rise of ‘lazy dating’

With dating apps now the norm, Kezia warns that they make men less proactive in approaching women in real life. “They have that safety net back at home. Sometimes they won’t even chat up women in real life anymore because they rely on dating apps,” she says.

This, she argues, has led to a shift in dating behaviour. “When they do chat up women, it is very half-hearted, with a ‘what’s the point’ kind of mindset. My first bit of advice would be to get off them unless you have no other choice.”

First-date mistakes to avoid

According to Kezia, one of men's biggest mistakes on a first date is playing it too safe. “If men are nervous, they won’t show intent; they won’t try to escalate or flirt; they will be overly cautious and overly safe.

Then they think, ‘I’ll make my move on the next date,’ and by then, the moment has passed. Another dating pitfall is excessive compliments, which can come across as insecure.

“It’s okay to compliment a woman and make her feel good, but don’t put yourself down in the process. Saying things like ‘I’m so lucky to be here with you’ or ‘you could have any guy you want’ actually works against you,” she said.

The return of the ‘alpha male’ on dating apps

The term ‘alpha male’ may have become controversial, but Kezia believes women are still drawn to confident men who take the lead.

“The idea of an alpha male is sometimes misrepresented,” she says. “It’s not about being aggressive or dominant—it’s about having strong character, making decisions, and being unapologetic about your values.”

She adds that confidence doesn’t have to come from wealth or power. “I met a guy recently who was a single dad raising two kids on his own. I found something very alpha and powerful about that. You don’t have to be a CEO to exude strength.”

Who should pay the bill on a date?

One of the most hotly debated topics in modern dating is whether men should still pay for dinner. Kezia believes they should—especially if the date is going well.

“I don’t need a man to pay for my dinner—I can afford my own,” she says. “But when a man asks to split the bill, something inside a woman changes. Even if she insists on paying, it shifts the dynamic.”

She points to social experiments where women admitted they lost interest in men who didn’t cover the first date. “On First Dates, every single time when the date is going well, and the man suggests splitting the bill, the woman later says she never wants to see him again,” she reveals.

Handling rejection the right way

For men struggling with rejection, Kezia suggests looking inward. “Unless you’ve done something obviously wrong, if a woman says, ‘I just wasn’t feeling the chemistry,’ it’s often because something in your energy was off,” she said.

Keiza encourages men to use rejection as an opportunity for self-reflection. “Your surface stuff might be fine—you dressed well, said the right things—but if you’re getting rejected repeatedly, it’s time to work on your inner confidence and mindset.”

As the dating landscape continues to evolve, Kezia’s advice is clear: ditch the apps, build confidence, and step up in real life.